Poetry runs through my vains

The American Dream

I sit in a cream coloured class-room

With red and blonde dye in my hair

I look up at the red blow, and white blowing

Not believing that I am here

The past five years seem like a blur

In the memory of my former life

The thoughts blow strongly in the wind

Like a kite on a rocky night

The American Dream

Is real to me

It could possibly be what I become

I don't steal, or cheat

I work hard on my feet

From the Green, Gold, and Black I have sprung

I slowly stride in steps

Above some citizens of this place

They don't find it fit

To use the s**t

That the Good Lord has blessed with his grace

Liberty, Pursuit of Happiness, Freedom and Security shall all set me free

As I listen to this Caucasian American teach me Literature

College Literature

She sits on a stool and talks about Shakespeare and get's my mind stimulated

I listen to everyword

I soak it in

I am the incomplete American Dream

I will do all I can.

Down to the wire

It's coming down to the wire. All this preparation for prom. It's like we put all this time, effort and money into one night that's gonna dissapear in the blink of an eye, it's like a minature wedding in a way. I hope mine goes well.

I spit my game straight up. -STRE$$-

His stress is my my stress
As if he was never the one that loved me the best
Life is currently putting me under the test
The wind blows a strong current
That current is success
Money This !
Money That!
I do it all alone
Sometimes I just want a place that I may call my own
The stress is taking over my body
I feel it in my bones
I am not only alone
But alone is my only home
I do not cry
There are no tears
But everything is not as nice as it appears
Love is half of what it used to be
Home has never been the same since Jamaican days
I feel a deep and unexplainable rage
I work day and night to take care of myself
I go to school and follow rules
And do well too.
College confused
Career consumed
Looking at his lips wondering what kiss could lead to?
Needing my father to be in my life
I feel deprived.
My mother somewhat better than she was last year
Yet still most days she does not see my tears.
Friends who betray, friends who are full of shit
I know a few of them, I need to stay away from them.
I am an individual who see's myself as different from everyone around me
I don't like lesbians, I don't see what they do as right
I am a girl, who is on God's side.
I'm talking about it all
I need to get it all off my chest
I am so very stress.
Prom this
Dress that
Shoes, and hair, and jewlels
Pretty hair, and suck that tummy in
put much makeup on that face.
It's all for one night
Which will go as quickly as the minutes it takes you to read this.
I want to go to Mount Everest and scream at the top of my lungs
I want to be with you, so you can hold me
I am cold
I want to be in control of my soul
I want to live my life in a pleasing way to God.
But sometimes I just cannot.
I want him to treat me the way he used to
When I was his whole world.
I feel deprived.
I will go and look for that attention for that person who is willing to give it to me.
Take a look at my life
Do you see what I see?
My hand is healing
But I am not.
Popping pills to ease the pain all over
I feel emotionally drained.
The bell rang
Time for me to move on.

A monologue

I wrote this monologue this week. It relates to me in a way but not completely!


My throat hurts today
And…Well … I’ve got a lot on my mind
More like a couple people on my mind.

Yea…

I guess I should talk about it because I’ve already started talking about it I had a feeling today like I’ve made a lot of mistakes with boys and I guess “men” also. Yeah … men!
I’ve always had morals, but I feel that maybe I started looking for attention too early and I think …… I don’t want to sound cliché, but yea I never grew up with my father, he wasn’t present during my most important years! The times when I needed him the most, so I feel that now I let boys or “men” take advantage of me. No! This isn’t some runaway’s story; my mother and I defiantly have our issues, but I mean… Ugh okay! It’s hard to explain my first boyfriend was about seven years older than me, he treated me pretty good, and I liked our relationship because, we didn’t do anything too serious, just kissed and watched TV. I hate the fact that as we get older our relationships get more complicated. Then there were the boys that met me one day and clearly just wanted to get into my pants! And I never let them, but although I was young I was lonely. I’ve been with my boo now for at least two years, and with him I’ve done things I never thought I would do. I haven’t really regretted them because were still together, and I guess he treats me pretty good SOMETIMES! But other times I feel he takes advantage of me, just because I love him, and he knows I’ll do anything for him; that was my mistake I should have never let him know that. Brandon was the only boy that kinda sorta broke my heart. I liked him a lot, and I think we were pretty good together; I cheated on my boyfriend with him and in return he shitted on me for my best friend. Ha! Funny! I call it Karma! Brandon was my first, and my last! No one knows he was my first. I thought it was our little secret but he told his friend…. Stupid Boy! That’s how information gets around. I’m not worried I have a pretty unsmudged reputation! But I know I miss him, and I keep comparing him to my boo. I’m in love with my boo. L-O-V-E! Whew! I gave him money, and I think my cousin found out and told my mom. She told me “don’t be stupid, and give men money” I feel stupid, I wonder if he had it right now and I needed it, would he deprive himself of it and give it to me? I doubt it, so now I’m thinking even though Brandon kinda sorta broke my heart, would he ever take money from me? Yea I’m thinking a lot! I just want to be loved completely without all these extra complications. I want to go back to my first relationship when we just kissed and watched T.V, and I wasn’t worried that he’d leave me like my father, even though he did.